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She arrived in Alex’s bedroom at 3:06 PM on Tuesday, March 3, 2020, moments after Alex arrived home from school. Alex didn’t even recognize her at first; her jaw dropped when she did.Dropping her voice to a whisper, Alex went on. “You know that I didn’t make my first jump until I was a month older than you are now, right?”Younger-Alex blinked in confusion and stopped stroking with her fingertip. “What?” she asked too loud. Alex put a cautionary finger to her lips.“I didn’t tell you before. I thought it would freak you out too much.”Younger-Alex shook her head in consternation. “You didn’t jump ahead like I did? When you were 9?”“I didn’t even suspect I could until February of ‘18. I put 2 and 2 together when I skipped ahead a day after smoking pot with Sean Lathan. You haven’t done that yet, have you.”Younger-Alex again shook her head in consternation. “How can that be? How can you not have jumped when you were 9?”Alex shrugged apologetically. “I didn’t trip to it like you did when I. The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an asshole!”Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?”The Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”Officer: “Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”“What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.”“Aggressive and hostile?”“Yes, Sir.“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for asshole?”“Well, sir, you know your client better than I.
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